By Ma. Teresa Montemayor
MANILA – Plotted in a barangay belonging to a fifth-class municipality, the story of Rowell Alejandro Obina, 42, and Aiza Nofies, 30, reflects the evolving landscape of relationships, commitment, and family planning in the country.
Their journey —marked by love, resilience, and practicality— mirrors that of many Filipino couples who choose to live together before tying the knot.
Obina, a utility worker with the local government, and Nofies, a full-time homemaker, have been living under the same roof for nine years. Their decision to live together came earlier than planned, prompted by an unexpected pregnancy.
“Nagbuntis po kasi ako agad sa aming panganay na anak (I got pregnant right away with our first child),” Nofies told the Philippine News Agency.
“Desisyon po naming dalawa. Nag-agree kame na magsama at palakihin ang pamilya (It was a mutual decision. We both agreed it was time to live together and raise our family),” she added.
Far from weakening their bond, cohabitation strengthened their relationship. “Naging mas matibay po ang pagsasama namin nung nagsama na kami sa iisang bahay (We became closer, more united when we lived in one house),” Obina said.
He added living together helped them truly understand each other —their habits, attitudes, and goals in life.
They have learned to manage their household as partners —sharing chores, budgeting for daily needs, and supporting one another through life’s ups and downs.
Nofies shared they both learned how to budget, divide responsibilities, and handle challenges together.
Number of ‘I do’s’ decline
In a recent study, the Commission on Population and Development (CPD) acknowledged the civil registration and vital statistics data released by the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) that reveal trends in marital patterns nationwide.
In 2022, the PSA recorded 449,428 registered marriages nationwide. This marked a 25.9-percent increase from the total registered marriages of 356,839 in 2021.
However, this trend reversed in 2023, with only 414,213 registered marriages, which showed a notable decrease of 7.8 percent.
The 2022 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) revealed that the number of women aged 15 to 49 years in “live-in” arrangements has gradually quadrupled within three decades —from 5 percent in 1993 to 19 percent in 2022.
CPD Deputy Executive Director Lolito Tacardon said teenage pregnancy remains a public health and social issue as youth cohabitation and early pregnancy concerns continue to grow.
“Cohabitation is becoming a common contemporary arrangement among Filipino couples, and this impacts population trends in the country,” he said.
“This kind of arrangement is highest in the National Capital Region, while the lowest proportion is in the Bangsamoro Autonomous Region (in) Muslim Mindanao,” he added.
He said the highest proportion was reported in the age group 25 to 29 years old among those in cohabitation.
Young people, including Nofies, choose this arrangement due to practicality, premarital pregnancy, relationship and family trauma, logistical difficulties, social media influences, contradictions in religions, and preference for a temporary setup to decide on marriage.
Facing social expectations
While their families accepted their decision without issue, societal judgment was not entirely avoidable.
“Malayo raw po age gap namin sabi ng iba (Some people criticized our age gap),” Obina admitted. “Pero focus-an na lang namin ang pamilya namin hindi ang sabi ng mga tao (But we focused on our family, not what others said).”
Despite choosing not to marry right away, both believe in the importance of marriage.
“Para sa amin ang kasal ay sagrado, magpapatibay iyon sa pagsasama bilang mag-asawa at isang pamilya (We see marriage as a sacred commitment that strengthens relationships as a couple and a family),” Nofies shared.
“Meron kami plano magpakasal kapag nakapag-ipon na ng pera pang pakasal (We do plan to get married once we’ve saved enough for it).”
In 2023, the median age of marriage was 28 years old for women and 30 years old for men. The same median ages were recorded in the previous year.
Some 12,630 marriages involved adolescent females below 20 years old. This figure is four times higher than the number of marriages involving adolescent males at 3,058 or 0.7 percent.
Of the 12,630 adolescent females, about 54 percent married men aged 20 to 24 years while 22.5 percent married men aged 25 to 29 years.
Evolving marriage patterns and cohabitation call for innovative solutions and a whole-of-society approach to strengthen families.
“The decline in marriages reflects changing realities as families of today come in many forms,” CPD Executive Director Undersecretary Lisa Grace Bersales said.
Development of comprehensive programs and policies are essential to address this concern. These should include social protection for those in non-traditional family arrangements.
Bersales said policymakers, government agencies, and organizations should continue working together to strengthen the family which is the basic unit of the society.
“While we uphold marriage as a sacred institution, we must also protect couples who choose alternative arrangements and ensure the welfare of every individual, ensuring no family is left behind in our nation’s development,” she added.
Family planning as shared responsibility
With two children, the couple is clear about their plans for the future. They are content with their daughters, not wanting a third child at the moment.
Thanks to the support of their local barangay health center, they’re able to access free contraceptives —a crucial resource in a country where discussions around reproductive health remain sensitive for many.
“Nagbibigay po ang center ng libreng pills (The health center gives us free pills),” Nofies confirmed. “Malaking tulong po ‘yun sa gaya sa amin na nagko-kontrol sa dami ng anak (It’s a big help, especially for families like ours who are trying to be responsible).”
Their practical approach to family planning underscores how access to reliable information and services can empower couples to make informed decisions —not just for themselves, but for the well-being of their children.
According to the Department of Health, over 9 million women are now using family planning methods nationwide. Apart from pills (93 percent effective), they choose from other methods such as implant (99.9 percent effective), intrauterine contraceptive device (99 percent effective), lactational amenorrhea method (99 percent effective), ligation (99.5 percent effective), injectables (96 percent effective), and condom (87 percent effective).
Meanwhile, only 0.1 percent of men nationwide have undergone vasectomy. The DOH said vasectomy is safe and effective and it does not make males less of a man.
Partnership, lessons, call for recognition
Obina and Nofies’ relationship operates on equality. From financial responsibilities to decisions about parenting and property, everything is split evenly so that none of them feels burdened.
For couples considering living together, Nofies advised that getting to know each other well must be prioritized to avoid regrets.
“Kung makakabalik kami sa simula, sana eh nakapag-ipon muna kame bago mag-sama (If we could go back, we would have saved money first before moving in),” she said.
As the country continues to debate issues like civil unions and legal rights for cohabiting couples, Obina and Nofies believe it is time for the law to catch up.
“Dapat po mayroong legal na pagkilala (There should be legal recognition for those like us),” Obina said. “Para ‘yun mga gaya sa amin ay may mga legal na karapatan at proteksyon (So that couples like us can also have legal rights and protection).”
In a society steeped in tradition but slowly embracing change, couples like them remind us that the heart of a family is not just about where you live, but how you live —together, with purpose, partnership, and planning. (PNA)
